No She's Not!

Everyone can be an artist.xD

2009-10-15T02:35:00.005+08:00

A Cartoonist? I want to! :D My first broadcast medium exposure is Funny Komiks.:D
A Journal Cartoonist? Hmmm.. I think this is a hard one cuz you only own a snippet from the page that you're on so your work is limited.
A Painter?!? Well... My mum is a good one. Proud daughter here! :D
A Microsoft Painter? Let's admit it. We all started with MS Paint. :)
A Typographer? I never considered this cuz my handwriting is not really that good. Haha.
A Graphic Designer? I just don't own InDesign! Hehe.

I'm a Photo-Manipulator. I turn something ordinary into something special.
LOL. Hehe.

A Change Would Do You Good But Not For Us

2009-10-15T02:34:00.002+08:00

Have you ever heard of the cliché that "People change" and "Change is the only constant thing in this world"? Of course you did, yes you did cuz you are one of the most intelligent people that I know. So why can't you accept the fact that I have proven to you that cliché?

I've waited in vain for long, excruciating and wasted years for you. Reconciliation had been the sweetest word for me but not anymore. I’m officially letting you go. This will be the last of me. Eventhough I’ve said this a million of times before, but tonight is different. I can’t be with someone who loved me for the reasons that they want. If you can’t accept my change, then I will not accept you even as a mere friend no matter how painful it is.

I’m letting you go...

I’m letting you go...

I’m letting you go...

Btw, thanks for giving me this reason. It really helps me to finally realize that my friends are right when they say that YOU DON'T DESERVE ME. That's all...

Violated Impression

2009-10-15T02:34:00.001+08:00

It's really hard to live in a world where people know you for someone you are really not and you didn't do anything to impose that impression on them. It's even harder when they accepted you into their lives and love you for the reason that they want and when you violate this reason, you must have to prepare yourself for them to slam the door at your face. You must remove all the attachments you have with this person even though it’s hard because you can’t have someone whom you want to please all your life.

There is no such thing as unconditional, especially if you're living in a doomed selfish world.

P.S.
I hate this morning! x___x

Hatred Is An Understatement

2009-10-15T02:33:00.000+08:00

Whenever I feel so helluva down I always blame myself for feeling that way. Not because I don't have someone else to blame but because there is only me to blame.

Someday in your life, you will feel this much hatred on yourself. It will never be because of the regrets or the mistakes that you've done but you will just hate yourself. With no underlying reason at all.

There are no words enough to contain this.

RESSURECTION (NOT REALLY A BLOG ENTRY)

2009-10-10T01:07:00.000+08:00

October 9, 2009:

It has been a week and four days since somebody told me that I didn’t write long entries on my blog and it has been that I realized that I’m just really trying hard to go on with this.

It has been a day and a month since my last blog post and it's not even merely a decent entry but just a bulleted summary of my tangled thoughts.

It has been two months and nineteen days since I woke up late on a Monday morning and it has been that I haven't taken a cab every morning to force my self to labor for money.

It has been four months and a day since I mounted the point of forged freedom wearing a black coat on my shoulders and a white tassel on my head.

It has been five months and eleven days since I strained myself to maturity only to realize that maturity is as blissful as pushing a gun at your head.

It has been nine months and a day since my ultimate dream has been chattered into pieces and I still never figured out how to put them back.

It has been a year and seven days since I started to face what people call “the real world”.

It has been a year and seven days until I noticed my death.

A Half Dosage of Randomness 002

2009-08-23T16:19:00.000+08:00

1.I find it really hard to penetrate social groups or even be with a new set of people. This is not a new thing. My best friends knew it by heart that I'm not really a people-person. It's a good thing though that they are the opposite.:D Guess I need to lessen up the introversion if I want to survive this world.

2. I just realized that I haven't took any photos of myself like since forever ago. I'm also neglecting my accessories and won't even bother to go out without anything like make-up on my face. I'm also not aware of the clothes that I wear. What is happening to me? Am I not loving myself like before? (Or baka di lang talaga ko kasing arte gaya ng dati? Hahaha. xD)

3. I'm learning a lot on my new job and that was an understatement. Let me rephrase it, I'm learning A LOT. It scares me a bit though cuz I'm sort of loving what I'm doing right now. It's too early to conclude and maybe some twist of fate will spoil it if I'll affirm that to myself. Okay, I love my job...SO FAR. Or maybe not the job itself (because the job itself involves a lot of pressure and a lot of anti-social-non-sleeping-exhaustive working hours). Maybe, it''s just the thing that I do ON my job. :)

4. I'm really happy that my friend Jessie was accepted to be a writer at ABS. He deserves it so much. I kind of regret it that I didn't even try to get in eventhough the door was widely opened up for me. I'll just let Jessie fulfill my "ultimate" dream first. Sana lang makasunod ako kagad.

5. I'm suffering a major case of nostalgia these days. I'm missing school and I'm missing my old lifestyle. I guess all people, at this point of their lives, went through this. This is pretty normal, right?

6. My friends and I decided to meet every other Saturday. I'm really looking forward to those days just to take a breather from all of these. It's really nice to know that at the end of the day (or the week), you can still find the comfort of your best buds to whom you can be your utmost self and who are willing to hear it all and shies away all the introversion in you. n_n

Five More Days and Then This Is Over

2009-07-15T00:17:00.006+08:00

Lo and behold! Her bumming days will soon be a part of history. She had just gotten herself a regular and stable job. Not the project based one but something with all those exhausting requirements that involve a lot of numbers and bullshit benefits that corrupts someone’s salary down to ten percent. Yeah, that kind of job.

She must be really happy cuz this is the industry that she really wanted to be with. Well, let’s just wait and see whatever it is that must be waited and seen for.

(Hoping for the best. x_x)

The Difference Between "Alexces" and "Megan"

2009-07-07T19:59:00.003+08:00

"Alexces" and "Megan" are two different people sharing the same family name. Not because they are sisters but because they are "supposedly" the same person. They are sharing a twenty-year-old girl's body but each has a soul of their own.

Alexces is the less popular of the two. When she and Megan go out for lunch, only the latter gets her name called by people that they know. She will just sit there quietly and stare at her food while Megan talks to those people who intentionally ignore Alexces. One thing that people notice about her though is her name. Alexces gets the "where did your parents get that name?" and "why did they name you that?" questions a lot and "maybe the doctor just misspelled Alexis" proposition sometimes. And that’s it. People will only like her name but not her. Because of these unfriendly incidents that happen all of the time, she has grown to be snobbish and ill-tempered. She had also developed a likeness in peaceful and quiet environment that she prefers to have alone because she doesn’t really have much friends. What people don’t know is that there is more to Alexces than her name and her appalling attitude. She is a quiet girl who likes organization and rationalizing things and even dreamt once to be a lawyer. She is tough and brave and determined to gain success in the field that she has chosen.

Megan on the other hand is outgoing, cheerful and laidback. She doesn’t care much on what other people might say about her, que sera sera. She is very passionate and even proclaimed herself as an artist. She loves to read books, watch movies, write, sing, dance and everything that requires a lot of self-expression, imagination and creativity. She has once been regarded to as the dreamer who wants to change the world and escape the atrociousness of reality. Megan may sound a very ideal person, but she too has her fall downs. Megan doesn’t know what she wants to do the “most”. She has a lot of things in her mind and even has a list of “Jobs to Be Fulfilled Before I Reach 50”, but she can’t say what is on the top of that list. She is not focused and very much indecisive. She wants change, but doesn’t seem to know what she needs to change.

Two souls who “can not” be as one because of their differences. Two souls arguing inside the body of a twenty-year-old girl. Two souls with a completely different intention. They are entrapped in one persona and only one must prevail to dominate her.

So Where Do You Think She Is?

2009-07-07T01:07:00.006+08:00

Reports have shown that Megan has been a prisoner in her own mental chamber for more than a week now.

She has been bumming herself to death. Doing routine chores each day with the same order as shown:

Waking up at 11 in the morning.
Reading J.K. Rowling's 6th book on her always dependable mobile phone.
Turning on her computer and checking her Facebook account.
Having breakfast in front of her mini Facebook games.
Having lunch an hour after that.
Simultaneously "doing" Facebook and Multiply till dusk.
Taking a bath complete with a bunch of cheap loofahs and unnecessary toiletries.
Watching some Disney and Nickelodeon cartoon greatness.
Eating measured dinner for dietary reasons but still tends to break the 1-cup-limit.
Watching some soap opera crapness which she finds terrifyingly amusing.
Drinking a cup of Lipton green tea or a glass of "non-fat" (which according to her mom is a perfect cure for her insomnia) milk paired with a pack of chocolate Sponge.
Doing her Facebook and Multiply again.
Cleaning herself for the sake of her precious bed mattress.
Reading J.K. Rowling's 6th book on her always dependable mobile phone, again.
Drifting herself to her own world.

And because this is a day-to-day-routine procedure (redundancy intended), Megan had shown signs of the following:

Unacceptable weight gain.
Ever prevailing writer's block issues.
Intentional Hypersomnia.
Unexpected desire to go out.
Something that has to do with the antonym of the word "stress".

She doesn't seem to know when will this bum period will end. But I'll keep you posted if ever she'll break this miserable cycle.

Are You Looking For Megan?

2009-07-06T17:43:00.005+08:00

Megan is not much of an item really but surprisingly, someone wants a piece of her. This site will talk a lot about her so brace yourself for the dullest internet-hopping-time of your life. She is an uncanny girl who is not known for her sinister business but neither with her charming sweetness. She is not interesting to say the least. Plain and simple.

So why are you still looking for her? You've come to the wrong place. She's not here, but this is all about her.